Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
