I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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