Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize