I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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