Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
