his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Damn victory sex feels great
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
