In the future we'll all be gay
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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