we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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