that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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