I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
