smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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