FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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