Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
