you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
