true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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