I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
