She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Randomize
