Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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