Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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