A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
