i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
