haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize