Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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