New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
