so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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