I have demons in me.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize