If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
