Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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