after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
