Come see our sink grown plant.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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