Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
