if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
