Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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