The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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