it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
