so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
vagina is talking i cant
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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