Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
