so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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