I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize