do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
