I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
