so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
