he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
