I am in a vortex of obligation.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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