So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
