awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize
