Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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