So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Randomize
