you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
