Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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