you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
