Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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