...so i touched it.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
