He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
