I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
