Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
