its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
he quoted the bible to break up with me
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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