I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
