That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
